The 21st Century Magazine,
at South Florida's
www.miami-dade-online.com.
E-mail Cautions, May 5, 2000, author unknown (E-mail)
Stuff to remember when Emailing: (I love this email) Whoever decided to create this note
and forward it on should receive some type of humanitarian award. It says it all!
- Big companies don't do business via chain letters.
- Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
- There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. Proctor and Gamble is not part
of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic.
- MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people.
- The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in
case it's true."
- There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice,
even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing
the kidney-theft ring stories, see: <http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm>
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual
victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None have. That's "none" as
in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
- Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it.
And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: <http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html> Then, if
you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
- If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the
eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL
chain letter?
- There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email
containing any virus warning unless you first confirm that an actual site of an actual company
that actually deals with viruses. Try: <http://www.norton.com> And even then, don't forward it.
We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download
it....ya know, like, a FILE!
- There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes headlights at another car
driving at night without lights.
- If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of
us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it
with a web browser since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie
Recipe anyway.
- If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have
the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over
the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>" that begin each line either.
Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it.
- Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc) in England is not dying of cancer or anything
else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He
apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
- The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to
establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using
their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.
- If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something
bad will happen if you "don't,"-- then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a
dark alley.
- Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail won't help their cause in
the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with
Amnesty International or the Red Cross.
As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any
power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.
KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet. No, they really do. Why
did they change their name? In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky
FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the
name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.
Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four generations back, that "we
checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true. PS: There is no bill pending before
Congress that will allow long distance companies to charge you for using the Internet. Bottom
Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a
public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's false, unless
there is proof that it's true. Now forward this to everyone you know or the program I just put on
your hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach out and slap
you upside the head!
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